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Rewritten Headlines: Barry Bonds to Britney Spears

It’s time for Rewritten Headlines with your Rewritten News anchor, Tony D! Real: Barry Bonds Gets 30-Day Home Sentence at Worst Rewritten: Government Finally Unable to Jail Black Athlete Real: Wall...

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Rewritten Headlines: Nut Rage to Chocolate Rain

First Class Rate, Not Worth It Politician Too Lazy to Tweet People Still Need Toner Horny People List Available Scientists Stalk Young Teen Girl Nail Salon Prices to Skyrocket Dude Really Likes Hat...

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Rewritten Headlines: Bribe to Jesus

Worst Bribe Ever Middle East Still Fucked Up Organization Without Money Fined So It Has Less Money Insanely Rich Hate Transfers Jimmy Fallon Tragically Still Employed Hillbilly Clothing For Sale...

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Rewritten Headlines: Naked Passenger to Toddler Looks

Dude Can’t Wait to Shower We’re All Gonna Die Worst Prize Ever Actor to Hilariously Kill a Bunch of People Scottish Cops Dumb Too Vampires Working at Starbucks Lemiwinks On Another Quest Hallmark Movie...

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Ten Reasons Why I Won’t Fly Anymore

I like my dog. I like my stuff. I like hot chicks that dress hot.  I like my friends.  I like privacy at home.  I like my nose.  I like sobriety.  I like actually getting what I paid for.  I […] ↓ Read...

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Rewritten Headlines: Squirrel Uprising to Dr. Dog

The Squirrel Uprising is Upon Us Someone Opens Jumanji Game The Latest Thing People Are Freaking Out About Couple Shares Interest Bro Needs to Make a Flight Steven Wright Joke Comes to Life Mexican...

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